I was thinking about this all last night. I am Fatigued.
Not in a First world sort of "Oh me oh my" sort of way, but in more of a trying to sort it all out, sort of way. I realize, I am a white woman of privilege and I am not obligated to fix any of what is broken, but I can't help but feel I should at least know what the hell is going on.
There is so much going on in the world and trying to keep track of it or even keep it in some sort of order is crazy making. I want to be informed but the more I try the more knackered I get. Then I don't pay attention and I feel horribly uninformed. Trying to keep a balance between my peace of mind and staying abreast of what is going on is getting harder and harder.
It was bad enough before Putin invaded Ukraine and started killing everyone. The news is heartbreaking and there is so much suffering we can't do anything about, it puts more pressure on the pile of things, I can't do anything about. "Just throw money at it" seems inadequate but what else to do?
I can't just disengage myself, turn off the news, be less informed and still look myself in the mirror and like what I see. Am I doing this to myself? Yes, probably. It doesn't help that the news is a fire-hose of badness. So how to overcome the feeling of helplessness? The feeling that I don't do enough but what can I do? If I ever find out I'll let you all know. For now it's time to play in the dirt. Dirt don't care, neither do worms.
I can take my frustrations out on the weeds, so there is that.
