I have worked on nothing
For months
It's been a full week since the mango menace was replaced by calmer and saner governing but I am Still mentally exhausted.
I have started a quilt project that I will finish but it is frustrating that it is taking me so long to get it together. Gathering the fabric took a month, design took another 2 weeks, I cut some of the fabric but now I need just a little more fabric and one more ruler (fuck) to finish cutting so I have started assembling what I have so far and I only seem to be able to concentrate on it for a few hours at a time.
I don't know about you all but this is pissing me off. Except that I really have nothing to be pissed off about. Which then confuses me and leads to hours of binge watching Mrs. Mazel and now I've run out of Mrs. Mazel. *Sigh*
Then I remember this is how I felt after I divorced my first husband. Well damn.
If any of you are having this kind of reaction to life, You are not broken. Take a breath.
Talking it all out helps. I know it makes you feel stupid because,
really, just how much did the administration change our lives? I mean
aside from the pandemic.
Find your quiet happy place and stop beating yourself up for not being productive.
You are feeling the after effects of having been in an abusive relationship.
How's that?
the last 4 years were an ever escalating circus of badness that none of us was able to get away from. Everywhere you turned, there it was, Breaking news of "Ohgodwhathashedonenow?" And it was all over the place, tv, radio, news feeds facebook, instagram, music radio, the corner store, word of mouth. You couldn't get away from it, It followed you, even if you unplugged!
Ever increasing levels of anxiety, no matter what they are and how they affect one personally, raise the levels of hormones in the brain/body and when that stimuli is gone, tend to leave one in a state of exhaustion. When this pattern goes on for a sustained period of time, The brain/body gets used to that level of hormones. When something is removed and the level of hormones is dropped, it leaves one feeling fatigued for a period of time and recovery is required to return to a state of new normal.
No wonder some of us still feel fatigued.
So I take it out on myself, well I need to stop that and so do you all, if you are feeling the same way.
Please.
