A nesting pair

The fuchsias in question out the window

There is a nesting pair of dark-eyed junco the GNW's  all around sparrow type. They are currently nesting in a fuchsia basket I bought recently, I placed it on our back porch close to the doors so I can watch the hummingbirds feed when it blooms. Looks like there will be more on view than I originally thought! I wonder how they will behave when the hummers come to feed?  Hummers don't generally care how big you are if your close to a food source, when they want to feed, 2oz of pointy death are not scared of you! they will fight you if in the way!
The first I knew of them, mamma junco was yelling at me from all over the pergola, when I went on the back porch to water. At that point I had no idea what she was yelling at me for, other than I was too close to her nest. It took a few more days to realize where that nest was.
I don't know if I scared them or not, they could be building or moving their nest, now that I have disturbed them as there is a lot of activity to and from with, bundles each way.
It's been raining off and on for the last few days so there is no need to water but I go out on the porch to "inspect"things passing by their spot so they get used to my presents on the porch.
Though It would be nice to use the porch if and when it ever decides to be sunny again, keeping an eye out for this nesting pair will be interesting.

I hope I haven't scared them away!


 Almost finished this panel from one of my Hawaii shop-hop crawls a few years ago. It just needs on more beak and some eyes on all my birds.

Now that the Lilacs have departed, there are Columbines  to put in my little bud vase.

And look what the fairies gifted me!

I found this on top of a bed in desperate need of weeding "en plein air" right on top as if placed there so I would find it right away.

Poor deer has been dead for some time. I wonder if it was a part of "the wild hunt"?

Dealing with life in the time of carona

That's all we need, right, a way of doing things. A way to think or behave, until we have more information so we can improve, the way we think and behave.
Something that has always made it easier for me to create, is to think of a person I am creating for, or the story I am trying to tell.    I have always been good at telling myself stories, of finding a fabric or a bead or a picture, that triggers something and I can see what it will become.
It is an integral part of my creative process and my stories have dried up.

All this uncertainty in the world, the dangerous, not danger, we all seem to be in. The News reporting, with its constant reiteration of what we have already heard, might be peppered with some new fact but it just as well might be the same as yesterday.
The constant pronouncements of, "Nah! It'll all blow over and we can get back to normal, tomorrow!" Coming from a WH, where we have been programmed to think the best news comes from and is right now betraying our trust in it, on a daily basis. Is only adding to the uncertainty we all feel.
The worry that our loved ones might get this and they might die but maybe not.
We now all live in a Schrödinger world

I know the science behind this Novel Corona virus. I understand it is brand spanking new and we have no immunity to it, which is why we should be taking all the precautions we are taking.
I also understand how, in this day and age, we feel we as a society have progressed so far, our science is so advanced, we should have come together and fixed this by now, right?
I mean whats the use of all this advanced technology, if we cant just whip up a cure at a moments notice?  TV cop shows and Hospital dramas tell us daily DNA analysis and labs come back within the hour and the crime or disease is solved, by the end of the show. Magic!

 And there is probably where we get all caught up in, what we think we know, about how science works. MAAAAP! No. That is TV science, there for the entertainment of you so our heroes keep you coming back, week after week. Real science takes time.
Real science it hit or miss, mostly miss. If we are very lucky and some much smarter than I am person, hits on the solution, It will still be months before there is a solution. Any pie-in-the-sky reporting or pontificating from the podium on a daily basis o0, will only make you more anxious than you need to be.

Right now our monkey brains are overloaded with, Danger, Danger, Danger Will Robinson!
And we are all quietly panicking about ourselves, our loved ones, our friends and our world and there is nothing we can really do about it. Because as advanced as we have become and as smart as we all are, with the amazing technology we have at our finger tips. We are still just monkey's.

So after all that what is my solution? How do we stop the panic? How do we cope with this new scary world? My way might not be your way but I go find something else to pay attention to.
Something not news.
Since I cant seem to find the brain-space to read or sew, I garden, clean the house, again.
Listen to music, I watch TV or waste time on you tube. I try to give myself a break from the nagging at the back of my head that keeps telling me, I'm not doing anything useful or worthwhile.
Mostly because none of us are doing anything useful or worthwhile either, it kinda takes some of the edge off not creating. So give your monkey brain a rest, and give yourself a break.
After all when was the last time you were told you could help save the world, by staying home, doing nothing?

Life in quarentine or for my own mental health

I may not post for a while. Anyone who is a regular here knows this happens from time to time, when I get overwhelmed with other things to do or loose the mojo to do. It's a thing with me.
I battle with a mild form of Anxiety and depression that I don't tend to advertise because people (not you guy's, you're great!) are judgey. I just don't want you al to worry if I drop off for an extended period. I'm OK. I hope you all are OK too.

When life gets overwhelming I self-isolate (convenient, no?) and retreat into the things that make me feel better. I sew and binge-watch, or garden or read. I have cultivated many, many hobbies to cope with being overloaded emotionally or mentally.
I think we can all agree the news lately is worth a bit of whelming.

I try to keep politics and religion out of my blog but it seeps in from time to time, again those of you who come here often, pretty much know my proclivities. I am an Atheist Leftist.
I have received a few comments that I have erased for being nasty and hurtful. I don't expect everyone to agree with me and I don't expect everyone to fall in lockstep, with every idea I espouse.
I can handle dissent and I welcome debate but there is no space here for abuse.

Funny, how people who accuse you of being a snowflake, that can't handle a different opinion are the first ones to rant and rave when you challenge their beliefs. I have no place for that in my life anymore. My step-father was abusive in many horrible ways and my ex was a narcissist so I have done this already, I won't allow it here.

I apologize to anyone for whom I have offended with language or ideology but I will warn you all

That Is Who I AM

I do swear like a sailor, (and if you think I'm, bad you should hear my mother) though I do try to tamp it down in public.
I will speak my mind and it won't always be politically correct.
And if someone deserves it, I will tell you why you are incorrect and why I think this.
I like a good discussion on many subjects, a bit of argumentation is OK but the minute people stop listening to each other you are no longer in a discussion, that is the minute the discussion ends.
I refuse to apologize for being myself, I did that for 45 years. I'll not be doing that anymore.

I felt the need to get all that out into the world of my blog.

For anyone wanting to follow along Jennifer Clouston is running a tutorial CQ class on her blog page

http://sewsocrazy.blogspot.com/

SHe is the author of several marvelous books on crazy quilting including this one which is awesome to teach from
Crazy Quilt International on face book is also a great resource for eye candy and the occasional how to and many of my hero's are members and regularly show their work. I highly recommend these gals if you need ideas stimulation or just some eye candy.

peacock moral challenge progress2

 SO here he is in all his glory

and mostly done too

I'm still deciding if he is done, done though


I may add an extra bit or bob somewhere





Added a little button-hole stitch and beads

to fancy it up even more

The silk ribbon daisies I added after most

of the serious sewing in the motif was done

Here is a better close up of the tail feathers

There are two layers of overcast stitching 

And I added a strand of god filliment

to give it a little extra bling






This motif was to fill up space

which it did marvelously

I just kept building it up row by row

with some beads I had laying around

from something I took apart

until it filled the space I needed it to






The shaped fly stitch seam treatment

still needs a little something, though

beads maybe something, else......







Two layers of chevron stitch with beads added

This may be done


                but one can never tell

Here's a fancy-schmancy shot


And the whole thing so far.

We have just been remanded to our homes

until may 4th,


 so


another project to keep me busy, is in order I think.

good thing there are 7 seasons to the show I'm watching

as I'm on season 3 already.......






How are you all coping?

Peacock Moral challenge

 After you have your outline stitching down

it's time to fill it in

In the head I decided to fill it in with stem stitch

because it gives me a really lovely texture

that overcomes the distractions

of the green velvet and the white lace

And gives this motif a more solid look






I then filled in the wings along the back

and the cover feathers in purple

going down to the display feathers

I'm binge watching Scott& Bailey as I sew


there are 7 seasons, that should be enough, right?










I filled in the display feathers with

cast on stitch in two different colors

 to give it dimension around

bright yellow I chose for the centers

These are going to take a while to fill in

My keeping up the moral challenge

A sketch to start

 In the spirit of "Keeping up moral"

and practicing what I preach


I am going to try to keep up with pictures and

posting my progress on this project


Here is where everything starts

An Idea, 

Peacock on the velvet dress

That leads to a drawing

or in this case a drawing set down long ago


because I liked the way it looked but never used
Although That's not quite true either

I did use it on a dress

A dress I have yet to finish

but the peacock is done here

Nekkid block in it's frame

But I digress








This is typically how I start a project


I get all my thoughts in one place and start

Dress paper pattern

I like using the blank ends to dress pattern paper

because it tears away fairly easily

without distorting my sewing

I draw the pattern I want to use on it first with

pencil and then again with sharpie so I can see it

I pin it down and lay down stem stitch for an outline

Sorry sidways

 Then fill in what ever stay stitching I need

to keep the whole thing stable

While I stitch away











 Not too shabby for a nights work


If you want to know what bits and pieces

I am working with

just leave me a message here

or on FB And I will try to answer it

More thoughts-It gets better?

Yeah, life as we know it has gotten very simple and very complicated at the same time, so we are in a pattern of waiting. Waiting is hard on a human. Anticipation even worse. Then you throw in uncertainty in government and you get a witches brew of antsy unhappy people second guessing every decision and snapping at who's left at home.

I have said this before and it bears repeating, I am afraid of my government. Before even when I hated who was in charge and I knew they were wrong, there also seemed to be enough people out there who had our back, who would stand and be counted, who would be that voice of reason.
While yes, we have those voices out there now, there seems to be less of them, more muted this time, less strident.  The government, more unhinged and willing to throw the country away, remake it in their short-sighted, self-centered image, full stop.

The deluge of contradictory information coming out of the government and the media does not help anything. I worry now that saner heads will not prevail. That those with selfish agendas will lean toward those with religious agendas and create an evil, to potent to put down by simply voting it out. The fault lines this time are not as clear as north and south, they are muddy, sneaky and deep.

Those in charge talk but I am watching what they do and it is at odds with what they say.

And now we are all stuck in our homes and that same government is trying their damnedest to take what they can, while we are distracted. The DOJ wants to strip us of habeas corpus so they can throw who they want in a deep dark hole with no recourse. The senate is trying to fleece the taxpayer of hundreds of billions with no oversight, under the auspices of "relief" but the wording  blocks us from knowing, to whom they will give it

Local municipalities are begging the government for aid and being told, to fix it themselves, when the resources to do so, are still locked up under control of a wh unwilling to cede it. Its the equivalent of telling someone, to fix a bridge and then locking the tools in a shed.

It is no longer a case of could we/should we. It is a case of we can but we won't. It is become evil. Malevolent and if it was unconscionable before, it has become untenable now.

With us all stuck in our homes and Isolated. To the worriers amongst us who know, not only history in general but our own in particular, this is a very uncomfortable place to be.
To strident a call to action sounds crazy, like an over reaction, to those who still trust that the government has rules. To little and we are in the same uncomfortable place, only sharper because our conscience will not willingly let us be silent for long.

We know the government is taking advantage, we understand the stakes, we are trying to fix the bridge with out the tools, we simply don't know what else to do.

These were my thoughts last week, I didn't post them because I thought, wow, that's too dark.
Too depressing in a time when we are all, probably, at least leaning towards depression.
But do I feel any better this week? Well, good question. What has changed in a week.

The president has become, yet again an international embarrassment and a domestic impediment.
I am no more inclined to trust the government, than I was a week ago. The republicans are showing us, in vivid detail, the depth of their contempt for the average american. When they show you who they are, believe them. Key democrats are a glimmer of hope and have managed to pull an emergency bill out of the pork fat but how long will their spine last?

Several Governors are being the leaders that we need. Loudly proclaiming their willingness to do what is necessary, despite the financial consequences.  They are the soldiers on the ground for this battle. They are the ones we should listen to. "All politics are local" or so the saying goes. And since we have no help coming from the big G government, we must look to the little g. This makes the scope of all this a little more easy to comprehend, maybe.

I am still pessimistic but the fatality of it seems to have passed. Still locked in, same as everyone else.
Trying to look at things in a more, what I have, as opposed to what I haven't.

So my advice, if you are feeling helpless and claustrophobic is, do something. Even if you have a million and 10 backlog of old projects that need finishing. Start something new.
A new project always makes me feel better. It's full of possibilities. Pulling things out of your stash to coordinate, picking a pattern, working on it and that feeling of accomplishment, when it is done.

I challenge you all out there who read this, go do something new.
It doesn't have to be big, in fact start small. Do something that can be done in a day, a table runner, a pin cushion, a needle book.  Just give yourself a kick-start.
Then you can go do one of those many UFO's, you have laying around.
I want you to feel that "I have accomplished something" good feeling.

Life in the time of Corona Virus

It seems we are all headed to the same place for a time, confined to our domiciles in fear of the virus now sweeping our country. I am fortunate in that  live in a more rural area and getting out of the house for a walk and some fresh air is easy, peasy. I also have plenty of projects to keep me busy from quilting and other crafts to getting the garden ready and a spring clean (Oh no!) if absolutely necessary.

I understand being mewed up at home seems an untenable situation right about now but we have all sorts of newfangled things we can do and share, from our public libraries to virtual garden and museum tours. Social media has made it so much easier to share with family and friends and keep in touch.

So instead of struggling against our shackles and railing against the tyranny of A shelter in place order, we all take stock of what we have been putting off because we didn't have the time to do  it before.

 Maybe time to catch up on all those books I buy and never have enough time to read.
Or all the project books I collect and never seem to have enough time to do.
All the stash I accumulate and never seem to use.
All the movies we have to watch and never seem to get around to.
All the chores around the house that never seem to get done.
It seems I have a plethora of things to keep me occupied.

So why do I feel this urge to break out and run away?
It might be the little rebel in me that hates to follow the rules.
That chafes at the whole idea of a mandatory confinement.
Its that mental thing we do as humans in which it is fine for us to stay at home doing nothing but binge watch the newest tv show but the minute someone tell us "YOU MUST" we all revolt in a fit of "You aren't the boss of me!" like the 5 year old, we still sometimes are.

I'm a homebody at the best of times and spend much of my time in solitude, not speaking to anyone other than the cats. So this is not all that different than a normal day, for me. Other than the addition of my dear husband, who no longer needs me to take him to the bus every morning or be picked up at night. We spend our days in not dissimilar ways from before the virus came to town.

I think we are lucky in that. Those who's lives are busier with Children, friends and family may have a much harder time with the solitude of Quarantine.

We are all in the same boat here, piecing together the what and how from available information has become easier and at the same time difficult because of our media and social networks. not to mention the conflicting and erroneous information coming from the government who is supposed to have a handle o this and so very apparently does not.

I have no answers either, only suggestions. Listen to the experts the scientists and epidemiologists, they say this will get better if we all stay home and limit our interactions with others.
It may go against every doer and shaker out there but it is what has worked for china which is on the other side of this so far.

Introverts unite! Separately in your own homes!

Be well my friends

Brownie Spirit

She looks comfie enough to sleep on doesn't she?

I am getting better at swirlies too!

Bugs,bugs, bugs

 Lady bugs more precisely


They re kind of in inchie territory

if you stuffed and mounted it

Next to embroidery scissors to see the scale









Upside down to see the bottom

I buttonhole stitched a small safety pin so I can wear it















Now there are two

there are technically three

but I gave one to my DD#2

She is my ladybug girl

Slough Spirit

What is a "slough" you may ask?

Pronounced sloo,  it is a swamp or wetland or a side channel or inlet, or a natural channel that is only sporadically filled with water.

We have a lot of those  around here in high summer you can walk on them just fine

but throughout the winter and spring one can sink up to ones knees into them and not only loose your shoes but your pants if you are not careful!

We have been very, very wet around here this year.

Sprouting Spirit

Every March I start to get that feeling of potential in the air

Things eire beginning to pop up throughout the yard

and Spring is just around the corner

So in celebration of that  this spirit doll is sprouting

Go Vote people!

A new Spirit doll I call her Voting Spirit

I am trying to stay as upbeat as possible, even though all the candidates I wanted to win, have all dropped out now.

*Sigh*

Maybe we will get a woman next time around

Who knows, maybe The next guy to win will set things right.

I have sopped saying "It can't get any worse"

because the universe seems to be taking that as a challenge .

















 there are a couple more inchies too

Making inchies

  So I'm back doing some small beaded things 

 I decided I would try doing some inchies 

 They are the perfect size to do while bingewatching something



 and so to challenge myself



 I chose to do the first few  from the bead soup pile




 Just to get started

 My first spirit doll

 for the bead journal project this year is also from the pile

with some opaque white seed beads to fill her out






 This one was not

from the pile and was supposed to look like flames



but she turned out a hot mess instead







 the next one is better and from the pile

I have a lot of purple seed beads!

I call her #9 




 Dottie is next

made from a broken pukka shell ankle bracelet

from a Hawaii trip and the last of the bugles

and the random seed beads in the pile

I also found another bead soup box


I wonder what will come from that?



this red one is all new beads from the box

she's a little lumpy but I think the lines are getting better

I am going to add some little  gold bell dangles to her bottom
when she is backed and pinned

I just noticed I have to finish her head though





 Then there are these two little embroidered guys

a bunny and fox for a later CQ project

I haven't decided where to put them yet but I am going to do more like this







They are fun little patches and will fit on anything  as they are inchies too.

I sew them on felt with an initial outline in a daisychain then fill it in with satinstitch and stem stitch for a  rougher texture

I'm Having so much fun with this!

Found it!

 It's amazing what you will find when you clean up!


I don't do this much so things go missing all the time.


I was desperate enough to clean this time.

You read the poem in the last post so you know what I'm talking about

If not, go read the last post

An "Ode to my lost Muse"

SO anyway, I found the sketch my daughter drew, for the "Balloon Field" below, under my ironing mat

and was inspired to make it            (Yay! she's back!)



its made on 2/3 of a fat quarter of black background
with double sided steam-a-seam and lots of scraps.

 Many, so many scraps.

 
 After 2 years of trying to get rid of them all I still haven't managed to make more than a dent.

*Sigh*

I then proceeded to have so much fun,

         I decided to do it again,

                              only easier this time,


so I could maybe teach this technique to others.

the daisy balloon took about 2 hours for me to do

What iz u doing?

I have to keep in mind,

I have had practice 

so as I made this,

  I explained to the cat what I was doing.


I don't think she understood.


now for the hard part sewing around all the raw edges

so they don't wander off when the quilt is handled



And just to make it take longer and be more tedious

I'm doing it for all three quilts I've made so far

the two above and the Hawaii 6 panel quilt,

So many peaces!

al least the snow has stopped

                    and it's started to rain again.

back to normal

Where did it go this time?

Maybe I can start some small things. Everything I pick up lately gets put down and kicked under the table. I don't have the energy, motivation my head is full of blah.

I cant seem to find my Mo-jo,
It's wandered off and left me.
bereft of all my creativity,
I sit on the couch and mope.
I've cleaned the house twice hoping to find it,
but the couch cushions stubbornly will not relinquish
any hint of it's whereabouts.
Is it under the bed?
did I leave it in the fridge?
I'm looking in all the silly places now,
desperate to reacquire the mo-jo that keeps me sane.
maybe the freezer in the garage,
the trunk of the car?
It' must be somewhere.
I can't have lost it.
it must be there.
My Mo-jo has taken vacations before,
off to the beach or out to the store.
but it has always come back to me,
ready to go, flowing with energy,
crackling to become some new thing.
Where did it go this time?
Timbuktu?
Maybe it went to France and found a better lover,
a creative who doesn't need so much pushing, 
or maybe a better temper.
Without you there is nothing for me,
The mediocre piddling amateur  at best,
is now a plagiarizer, a tracer, a copy-cat.
I haven't checked the garden yet,
Are you hibernating up a tree
The wood pile, a wheelbarrow, a pot, maybe ?
but it's been raining,
today has grown cold,
I am weary,
the grass is wet.
I will try again tomorrow.

Build up

So! You know how things have a habit of building up in your brain, just waiting for the perfect moment to strike?
Yeah.
This is where I'm at right now.
That's not to say any of it is bad, These are just things I've been putting off thinking about for a while.
To start:
My youngest has moved out, leaving me childless for the first time in 28 years.
Empty-nest syndrome is a thing folks!
On the one hand, I'm thrilled she is venturing out into the world to make her own way in it! Slightly less thrilled she moved in with her boyfriend. He's a lovely boy and  I love him to pieces and she  does need a room mate BUT. Insert attack of the mommy "what if's, that will probably happen because I've been there" here.
On the other hand I miss my baby-girl! She's too young (No.... she's 21, really Flora?) Now what do I do?

Apparently ferry My MIL around to do her shopping. Also to her various doctors, for her health and fitness, and general care and maintenance. Since she moved here from Chicago, that has been taking up a lot of my time lately. She needs a cardiologist and a dental surgeon and new glasses and, and, and.
I don't mind all this it just cut into my sewing time, as in I don't get much, anymore.
I have finished a bunch of hand work things, since I have been populating the waiting rooms of several different facilities lately and will probably finish a few more, as we aren't done yet.

I am missing the long arm/quilt guild work, but I haven't had the head space for it.
All in all not earth shattering things, just mess up my routine, things.

Dad at the Lincoln park conservatory 1966

As everything is changing on me, pent up feelings about my dads death, 19 years ago, are roiling around my head.
He and my mother divorced when I was 2.  He went back to live in Lacrosse, mom and I stayed in Chicago and because of that, we weren't close. 
We were just starting to connect more after my children were born, but I find myself sad that we didn't get to know each other better.
Since his death, I have gotten to know his side of the family a little more. I correspond with my step-sister, one of my uncles and a couple of cousins fairly regularly.

What caught me off guard was not knowing that my father loved Gnomes at christmas time. Silly of me, IK but, then I started to think of all the other things I didn't know about him, everyday simple things one should know about a parent, how he liked his steak, favorite color, season etc.

Dad & I 1986

So, I got sad for a while. Then I talked to my sea-star (step-sister) and we talked. 

Through her I am getting to know the kindhearted gentile man, who was my dad.
Steak-rare, with a good scotch or an old-fashioned. Thanksgiving and Christmas, he was a sneaky present giver, Things hiding in/behind things.
He liked Jazz and classical music, the color blue and going for long rambling walk and talks.
I take solace in knowing all the things I missed out on. That my sea-star got to enjoy, because I wasn't there.

 At least someone loved him back the way I couldn't.